Mother’s Day…the holiday I dreamed about long before I got to celebrate it. After getting married, I wanted to have kids. I also knew that I would have trouble conceiving. My doctor made it seem that although I would have issues, some pills would help me along and I shouldn’t worry too much about it.
Until I had to.
Because the pills did not work just like that.
Today, on Mother’s Day, I decided to clean out some drawers. Let’s not question why right now. People do strange things in quarantine times on Mother’s Day. Anyway, I came across a paper from the fertility center we went to. Every now and then I find one. There were so many instructions and information during that time. Sometimes, I wonder why I hold onto them. This particular one was spelling out the details for one shot. The shot that would mean baby or no baby.
And just like that, I felt like I was back in the infertility world clinging on to what I always thought was the last bit of hope I had left in me.
Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate all the moms and women in our life that mean so much. I can drink some mimosas and have a special dinner but I struggle with truly celebrating.
Because I left a lot of people behind in that world. I also learn every week about new friends that are going through their journeys to become moms. Days can turn into months and months into years.
The infertility world comes with so many emotions that you often feel like a ship in the worst possible storm.
I think about those people all the time but especially on this day where the idea of being a mother is everywhere.
My hope for anyone reading this is while you are that ship in the storm, you look for that rainbow wherever it might be. Hold tight to your dreams. Let friends and family comfort you through all the highs and lows.
Today on Mother’s Day know that whatever you are doing to make it happen means there is love; so much love.
Don’t forget to celebrate the mother you already are.
Hold tight to your wishes. I hope they come true.