I’m not sure how this time got here so fast. It was dark when I left you that night. I drove home barely able to see the road. The tears fell and inside, I was silently screaming.
You were gone.
Not quite a year has passed but a special day has arrived… your birthday. The kids have been talking about it. Our youngest still cries for you when she is upset.
You probably can hear her all the way up there. She is still that loud.
The oldest wants to do something special for your birthday. He still wants to be your buddy.
And me? I just want to remember you.
Then I just want to cry and pretend it never happened.
But it did and here we are. You have not been forgotten.
There is a space you used to fill. One that brought happiness, laughter, and so much comfort.
We were that silly family who would light a candle for your birthday in a scoop of ice cream. You would get extra treats and some toy that you would never play with.
At night, as we kissed the kids goodnight and read them their books, you would walk in to just be there.
And when I stayed up way too late trying to catch up on life, you slept next to me as I typed my stories.
Did you know I moved the furniture around after you left us? I just couldn’t be in the same place.
Its been hard and we have been missing you… fiercely.
But today, we will celebrate you. Today, we will smile and say your name out loud. And if we try hard enough, perhaps that space wont fill so empty.
Know it never is in our hearts.
Happy Birthday, Kippi.
The pain that one feels over losing a fur baby is unreal. I am thankful to be surrounded by so many who understand that bond. Therapy for me is writing. Thank you for reading this today.