It’s been a month and I still haven’t found all the words. They come in bits and pieces and then leave me in tears.
The kind that you just can’t stop.
We got Kippi Cat when she was just a baby. I was never even a cat person. It was my boyfriend now husband that was. There were no pets allowed where I lived so off she went with him. Only I couldn’t stand to leave her at night so I pretty much moved in with him until we made it official. A month after that, we moved from NYC to NC in what I thought was the end of the world.
No family here and no friends.
But I had my cat.
When I missed home, she sat with me. When the stress of planning a long distance wedding got to be too much, she made me laugh while she played.
I made friends. They came over. Everyone knew my girl.
Never underestimate what a fur baby can do for you.
I would use stories about Kippi to teach writing to my first graders. They loved it and she became quite popular as they loved to know the latest on how she got so many treats or where she was hiding in the house.
Then my journey into the infertility world…it was scary and I spent many nights crying my eyes out. Fur babies have this way of not judging and just being there with you so you are not alone.
The babies came and she got used to them. I used to joke we had to see if she would let us keep them. I always loved that when one of the kids cried at night, she would come meowing over to me as if to make sure I was doing my mom job. Eventually it got to where I would put them to sleep and she would have to come in to listen to a story and say goodnight herself.
We used to send out holiday cards with her picture then eventually when they were born, we added in the kids pictures. This past Christmas was the first one where we took a family picture.
My husband travels way more than I like. At nights, I would write, read, watch TV, or work and she would be curled up on the couch with me.
I was never alone.
The night we rushed her to the emergency vet was one that never had me thinking that we would be returning home without her. It was her heart and a clot they said. Possible brain damage.
I had to let her go.
My baby who all these years made the world a better place was in pain and I couldn’t stand that for her.
Its been one month and I still cry a lot but I have come to a place where she helped get me to. I just miss her.
My friends have rallied around me. I have such beautiful memory gifts of Kippi. My family has listened to me cry and they offer constant support. My kids give me extra hugs and tell me that they miss her too.
My friends say to write and to let it all out. Remember the good times. The smiles she put on all of our faces.
This blog has become a keepsake. I didn’t want to feel this pain as I wrote this but I couldn’t not tell her story and share with so many who knew my stories of what she meant to us.
My heart has broken into a million pieces but it could only have done that if it was filled with the greatest love possible.
That was my Kippi Cat.
Thank you so much for reading this. If you can relate to anything in this post, I send so much love. Kippi was 13 and we were very lucky to have her. She was my first fur baby.
The absolute best.