What Next?

I wake up unable to catch my breath. It was the same nightmare I have had on and off for the past two weeks.

The details vary but the underlying message is there. I know what is bothering me and starting to weigh heavily on my heart.

What to do next?

How many of us come to a crossroads in life where we have achieved what we want and still wonder? Who else thinks of things that could have happened or should have occurred?

We are not alone.

My kids chatter on in the background as I write this. They are at the stage where they play together more than ever before. It brings me joy and a few added moments of peace which this mama desperately needs. I put the puzzle pieces of life together…

Education, career, husband, kids, home.

Check, check, check, check, and check.

So, what next?

Happiness comes in stages of want and need. I find that what I have is not always enough even if it is all I have ever wanted. It’s this constant drive to some sort of inner fulfillment. At times, it makes no sense, and others it is so clear.

I write and I write some more.

As if putting it all out there would bring some kind of direction to these dreams that are trying to tell me something.

My husband passes by and asks if there is anything he can do.

There is nothing and there is everything but he is not the one who can make the bad dreams stop.

Again, I ask myself….what next?

Deep breaths come and go. Self doubt goes to self confidence. We learn to recognize the signs that these things are a a journey like everything else at any stage of life.

And a plan begins to form…

Thank you SO MUCH for following me at 40 Wishes and Counting!


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