My husband and I had been trying for over a year to get pregnant.
It was feeling hopeless and most of the time, it felt like any world I was trying to create was falling apart before it even began.
There were doctor appointments and tests. Hopes were raised and fell faster than a rain drop in a thunderstorm. I used to sit for hours in the room that would be the baby’s nursery and imagine how life would be if I was just rocking a baby to sleep.
At different stores, I would wander around the baby section thinking about what I would get and what our baby would enjoy. My husband would steer me out of the section when he found me as tears started to fill my eyes.
At work, it seemed like everyone was pregnant. I shared in the joy because who doesn’t want happiness for their friends? I hoped that one day I would have my own joy to celebrate.
For every friend or relative who asked when we would be bringing a new little one into the world, there was a failed pregnancy test in the garbage at home that told us not yet.
At night, I would sit in what was to be the nursery and just cry while I imagined myself rocking my baby to sleep.
I never wanted anything so much before. I prayed with all of my heart.
At work, I had this friend. She was kind and generous. I used to love talking to her about anything and everything. She had this way about her that was so calming. She knew all of what I was going through. Even though she had no trouble getting pregnant, she always said something that made me feel better or helped me get through those minutes of feeling down about what my husband and I were going through.
One day, she gave me a gift.
It was a statue of a pregnant woman. It wasn’t fancy and didn’t have anything written on it.
She said that she wasn’t sure at first if I would be okay taking this but she knew that I should have it. In her heart, she felt that I was going to be a mom someday and that there was a plan for me. In that moment, I felt happiness. For some reason when she said it, hope became alive when it was just starting to fade away.
I went home and placed that statue in the nursery.
When I still didn’t get pregnant, I would stare at it. Sometimes I would pick it up and imagine throwing it across the room until it fell into the little pieces that seemed to represent how I felt at the time.
I just held it and my friend’s words replayed over and over until my dream of becoming a mom filled my heart again.
This statue represented so much and still does.
I felt hope become stronger and believed even more that my time would come.
I will never forget the look on my friend’s face when I asked to meet her (We no longer worked together.) and showed her my ultrasound picture.
Through tears of joy we both hugged.
Not only did the gift have so much meaning, my friend was an even better one in my life.
Today, the statue sits in my room. I smile when I look at it.
I will always be forever grateful.