I walked into the room with my hair a mess, in my pjs, and in desperate need of a shower. One kid was clinging to me and the other was in the very near distance calling, “mom, mom, MOOOOOOOOMMY!” I had set the coffee to go and that’s when I noticed I forgot to put water in the machine.
Welcome to my life.
Fifteen minutes later, before I had even gotten a sip of coffee down, there was food flying from the 19 month old sitting in the highchair and the 4 year old was demanding his second breakfast. After a so called clean up, I got the kids dressed and we got into the car. We were ready to conquer the world.
That’s when I realized I was still in my pajamas.
I swear before I had kids, I did have a brain that worked.
Most of the time anyway.
Our days are filled with routine and yet everything is out of order. Here are 15 reasons why I may have lost my mind after having kids.
- Bought a cool tent for the kids to play in with their toys. Watched it become more like a WWE ring for their fighting.
- My toddler discovered toilet paper and has dragged it all over the living room to show us too. She also realized the toilet has water in it where she is all too happy to wash her hands in it when I turn my back.
- In the mood for Cheerios? Feel free to reach down in the couches and pull out a handful. I am sure there is a sippy cup filled with milk sitting around you can use. Just ignore the smell.
- Wearing underwear backwards is a thing. If you think it is not, try to argue with 4 year old logic.
- The noise!!! It’s coming from this toy. No, wait. It’s the other toy. Check the cabinet. It’s coming from there. 20 minutes of searching while the toy keeps going off and it has yet to be found. It will finally shut off on its own only to go off again when the house is dark, quiet, and your spouse is out of town.
- Ding Dong. Freaking UPS man again. Kids practically running around naked and screaming. I sign for the package while the toddler runs over yelling, “DADDDDDDY!!!” as my neighbor walks by.
- Time to make dinner only I never thawed anything out. Also forgot to buy fresh veggies. Who am I kidding? We only eat chicken nuggets every night anyway. The kids would probably have nightmares if they ate something green in it.
- Paint on the walls! Crayon marks on the floors! The color scheme wasn’t working anyway. Now everything matches the couches they used the markers on. At least we tell our guests that.
- I may have lost my mind due to the amount of times I have tripped on Legos and landed on a Matchbox Car. This may be where the kids learned select new vocabulary words from me.
- It is possible to watch the same kids show over and over and over to the point where you would willingly move the TV out of the house just to never hear that character ever again.
- The bathroom is a sanctuary if I can manage to run in fast enough and lock the door behind me before they get in. The downside is they are always right there…waiting. I can hear them breathing. Five seconds later, they are banging so hard that the door will probably break.
- Every now and then, we play a game. I swear my 4 year old is cheating but I can’t prove it.
- Waking up to a munchkin who has crawled into bed at some point during the night kicking you in the head.
- The asking “why” phase. This never ends. Sadly, it’s not only the kids on that one. Hubby is doing it too. (We now buy wine in bulk.)
- The weekend without a daycare/school break is scary. Moms and dads only have so many brain cells left. There is a conspiracy theory among kids to break their parents during this so called valuable bonding time.
And yet, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Like this? Please be awesome and share this post and 40 Wishes on Social Media!! Thank you!!!